My brain is foggy. It’s full of noise and objects that keep bouncing around like a pinball, and it’s occupying all of my time and energy. My dreams, daydreams, and reality all seem so equally ridiculous that they blur together, and at times I’m not sure what has actually happened and what hasn’t. My thoughts are stampeding through my head so quickly that I don’t have enough time to examine them. I’m so fucking tired, but the white noise in my head is keeping me awake at night; like trying to sleep with someone screaming in your ear. If I can shut that up, the bullet train of thoughts about nothing and everything keeps me awake. It’s like watching a foreign film in hyper speed. During the day my thoughts are just as fast but my body is a slug. It’s exhausting trying to keep up with myself. Then there’s this whole rest-of-the-world business, which of course slows down for no one.
I read an article today about the “starving artist” appeal of accessorizing with a mental disorder. Perhaps I’m missing the sex appeal.